Texts From Last Night · cmbear's Favorites

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cmbear's Favorites Texts:

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(334): View more from Alabama

I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

Fav 41 13009 2003
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(214): View more from Texas

You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

Fav 14 6438 1390
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.

Fav 16 6012 1224
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(720): View more from Colorado

i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

(720): View more from Colorado

and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

Fav 15 5910 1526
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(205): View more from Alabama

he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

Fav 6 3777 1054
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(856): View more from New Jersey

we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

Fav 4 4408 1145
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.

Fav 6 5748 1251
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.

Fav 5 5875 1061
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