Texts From Last Night · jjak's Favorites

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jjak's Favorites Texts:

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I wish drunk me came with subtitles

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(647): View more from Ontario

you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'

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(574): View more from Indiana

You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass

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(720): View more from Colorado

I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.

(303): View more from Colorado

Flo's in town, ain't she.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again

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(212): View more from New York

be right there i have to get my cape

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(812): View more from Indiana

dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck

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