Texts From Last Night · kakarot366's Favorites

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kakarot366's Favorites Texts:

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(970): View more from Colorado

Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

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(415): View more from California

I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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(440): View more from Ohio

My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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(678): View more from Georgia

SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her

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(407): View more from Florida

If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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(407): View more from Florida

he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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