Texts From Last Night · mjwolters's Favorites

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mjwolters's Favorites Texts:

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(716): View more from New York

sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner

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(708): View more from Illinois

She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"

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(530): View more from California

my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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(517): View more from Michigan

My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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(614): View more from Ohio

halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'

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(845): View more from New York

my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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(312): View more from Illinois

dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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