Texts From Last Night · someoddpilot's Favorites

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someoddpilot's Favorites Texts:

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(319): View more from Iowa

Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

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(641): View more from Iowa

TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY

Fav 8 2498 1488
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(503): View more from Oregon

So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you

Fav 6 2024 664
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(310): View more from California

My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.

Fav 10 2136 874
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(627): View more from California

Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

Fav 7 2703 790
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(708): View more from Illinois

we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.

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(410): View more from Maryland

We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

Fav 26 4778 1012
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(631): View more from New York

I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

Fav 5 2913 848
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