Texts From Last Night · staish3819's Favorites

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staish3819's Favorites Texts:

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(812): View more from Indiana

I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.

Fav 8 1219 570
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(248): View more from Michigan

They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients

Fav 2 924 552
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(562): View more from California

There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?

Fav 1 826 576
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(512): View more from Texas

Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it

(1-512): View more from Texas

We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...

(512): View more from Texas

This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.

Fav 5 3200 853
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".

Fav 10 4494 986
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