Texts From Last Night · tbirdy's Favorites

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tbirdy's Favorites Texts:

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Do you know how to give stiches?

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

I do not...this text concerns me

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(913): View more from Kansas

I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

I will rub McFlurries all over you.

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