Texts From Last Night · thekooze's Favorites

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thekooze's Favorites Texts:

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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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(817): View more from Texas

I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon

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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(917): View more from New York City

If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

(917): View more from New York City

Those had pot in them

(917): View more from New York City

And good luck on your interview asshole

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is

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(801): View more from Utah

No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything

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