Texts From Last Night · thewalrus's Favorites

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thewalrus's Favorites Texts:

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(913): View more from Kansas

the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night

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(620): View more from Kansas

I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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(269): View more from Michigan

You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

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(417): View more from Missouri

And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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(516): View more from New York

he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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