Texts From Last Night · unicorn22's Favorites

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unicorn22's Favorites Texts:

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(519): View more from Ontario

I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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(647): View more from Ontario

Whatcha textin bout Willis?

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(212): View more from New York

I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride

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(941): View more from Florida

Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains

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(205): View more from Alabama

Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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(253): View more from Washington

At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.

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