Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
