I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
