One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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