He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
