is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
