i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
