Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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