I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
