Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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