so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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