My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
