I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
