can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize