I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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