She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
