There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize