bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
"it" just moved
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize