I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
