i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
