I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
whose parrot is this?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
