I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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