i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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