I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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