the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
