I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
