we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
