It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
