i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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