The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
