I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think my moral compass just broke
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize