lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
