He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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