I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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