I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
