At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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