I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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