Are we in a gay sports bar?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
