One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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