Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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