No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
