I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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