I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
