I heard we made out
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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