it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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